it's personal.

Comment, and I'll add :)

Hi all! I've moved to wordpress after much thought. So, if you linked me, please change your link to:

http://jjjayne.wordpress.com

a happy labour day to all, and enjoy the rest of it cos it's 11.25pm. time to go back to work tomorrow. boring!

so anyway, pre labour day was rather fun. yao and i spent the day in town looking for clothes to go phuture because apparently, my clothes were not exactly CLUBBING attire. annoying. babydoll top and jeans cannot meh??? so i bought this dress that my sister has, and i love love love it! quite short and skanky on me, but i liiiike. 

all in all, i had fun but i wasn't as wasted as i was at mambo the last time. sleepy now. time for yao's wawa. i swear i'm his wawa slave or something. biatch.

ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND SEXIES, and oh if you have time, go town and see my sexy pornstar posterz ok? :)

so, my past week has been a total blah and plus the fact that yao has been having his atrocious exams, that makes my week so much more worse. work has been alright these few days, nothing much for me to do cos adrian isn't around, which is good and bad. good being that i can slack a little more, bad being that i facebook at work.

ironically, even though yao was (and still is) having his blasted exams, i saw him about 3 times this week. that was pretty out of the norm, and i feel kinda bad.

so, on thursday, i gave yao a little surprise visit after his paper and after my rushed article for 'cashmere mafia'. to sidetrack just a little bit, i think cashmere mafia is reminds me of sex and the city, although i have never watched it. it's quite women-driven and feminist-esque, if you ask me. ok, so after everything, i rushed down to yao's place to give him a little surprise and found him sleeping! i mean, yes i expected him to be asleep, but while on the way there, i was thinking of how to make fun of him ie. call him while in the same room and make him confused considering that he's half asleep. but no, he woke up when i walked in. it was all cool cos we spent the rest of the day sleeping in (i woke up at 8am and i didn't go to work.stupid.) woke up after a couple of hours and yao sent me home. despite that few hours we spent sleeping together, it's really the best date that i can ask for, especially now.

my friays are usually bright and happy, cos i get to see yao the next day. but my past friday was just right down in the dumps. everyone at work was snappy, i wasn't going to see yao the next day etc etc. but yongjian and i left early cos i needed to go for a casting at AMK while he needed to cut his hair, which was amazingly neat on friday. met my parents in town after my casting and had dinner. walked around for a bit and off i went home. to make my friday worse, we got into a fight, which he really didn't need at this moment. i'm so sorry, my dear.

after what felt like eternity, i met ama dearest for a little trip down haji lane to buy cloth for her clothes. we bought hilarious prints and i can't wait to see how it turns out! and then off we went to town to snap snap my sony pictures in town, which i will put up in a while after it's done sending over. met up with royston aw 'ah wang' at subway for a little chit chat, nice catching up with you! yada yada and i went to visit yao once again for dinner. as usual, we slept for a while cos he was quite tired studying the entire day, while i was tired cos i have been running around the entire day. had massive feast at bukit timah hawker centre, and then i went home.

you know, it's amazing to see how yao has been there for me despite his exams. and i'm starting to realise how bad this is for him. his exams are making us quarrel a little more than usual, and i hate it cos.. i don't have to say this here, but yao, you know why i hate it and i know why you hate it. we've been over this a gazillion times, but my stubborness is just in the way of me getting to understand. and yet all this time, i'm taking for granted his presence here during his exams and not seeing his sincerity. it's another 1 or 2 days more to the end of everything, and hopefully everything will be back to normal. i'm only looking at all this in such bright perspective because i'm hoping that we'll have much happier times in the future. you can say that i'm quite cynical, but deep down inside, i really want us to be happy. i really want to know what the future holds for us, and where we can really go. although it's a rather positive outlook for us, i'm afraid that i'll be getting ahead of myself and not dealing with the issues at hand. oh well, all that matters is that he loves me.

Yao, I miss you and your fats. Come back to me soon ok? 

Pinch your tummy!

see what you are making me resort to for entertainment? 

(for the first time, i have put my trust in you without any doubt.)

hey all! :) it's mid-week, so that means... friday is coming really soon! this week, work has been nothing but great! love love love my job :D

monday was relatively boring, considering that i was coding stories and just basically trying to scour the wires for stories.
tuesday was so much better! went to work and my boss asked if i wanted to attend a press conference for ac milan's opening of its youth camp in singapore. and i did! before the conference, jillyn (she's so cute!) and i headed over to 91.3FM to film joe and petrina's weekly vodcast for asiaone. they are a hilarious duo! very nice people indeed :D after the short filming, we were off to the press conference where i nearly died listening to the 3 italians. jillyn, ben and i were wondering what to eat for lunch while they were talking. hehehhe. :D after the press conference, we headed to great world for a quick lunch and went back for an interview with aide iskandar and daniele massaro. ok, ellen did the interview. the rest of us just stood around and watched. hehehe. jill and ben are really nice and sweet people, although they made me steal a rose for pei jie. hehehe. went back to office and finished up some work.
today was alright, did the same old. but i'm super excited for tomorrow! press conference again, yayayayayay!!! :D

i might consider moving to wordpess or blogspot. see how lah :D

had an amazing saturday! :) i thought it was going to be quite a boring one, the usual. but no! we had a fantastic time no? hehehe.

yao picked me up at about 1pm, and off we went to his house so that he could continue catching up on his studies. while he was studying, i went fb bla bla, sleep, did nothing much actually. hahahaha. and then yao told me about viwawa, so i tried out the mj. yao said he owned the noobs. please lor! he anyhow game one please. haha. went to rail mall for subway. yummy!! :) love love love subway. had a nice talk over dinner, and walked a bit at cold storage to get his tongkat ali vitamin c pills, mouthwash, neccessities etc. went back home to play more viwawa, where that boy couldnt stop cheating. damn funny! omg, loved every moment of it. xiao niao!!!! hahahahha! baby, it's funny okay! :D watched a little rugby and played even more viwawa! hehehe after your exams we can spend the entire day like that okay! hehehehe.

i wanted to play more viwawa at home, but my siblings wanted to play the real thing, so woo!!! no cheating! :D

ok, i'm off. enjoy your sunday dearies!

i hate the kind of influence you have over me. it makes me want you so much, and yet with everything that's going on, i can't have you. i just want it all to go away, and things would be how it used to be. so every day, i tell myself over and over again those very words you say to me. i remind myself of the things you do for me, and how your touch and your kiss can take my sorrow away.

until that day, i will tell me that you love me.

i finalleh got a job at asiaone, sph. basically, i'm a web uploader but actually quite fun although it sounds boring! hehe, i get to edit pictures, read  a WHOLE lot of news etc. oh and i got my first writing assignment yesterda! was super psyched about it. hehehe. 

today was a fun fun day! :) woke up early for hsbc print ad casting at king george avenue, and it turned out that the casting location is freaking ulu! hehe, afterwhich, yao came to pick me up and off we went to SPCA. we both thought that spca would be bigger but no! it's daaaaamn small and cacat. looked around at the doggies and we both love leroy and vodka! leroy is a 1 year old husky, but he's DAMN big!!! omg, so cute! vodka is also a husky but he is like 7 months old so, quite small as compared to leroy. stayed around for a little bit and then we had lunch at rail mall. had some bak chor mee which was not too bad, but i think it had a tad bit too much vinegar. oh well. we went back to his place to watch south park and went to the pasar malam near him place. we had a suuuuper budget date where i had disgusting fooood. now i'm hungry. all thanks to our cheapo date, but i had a good time though! love the walks and talks. i like walking and talking, dearie :D

other than that, life has been okay la. i'm tired now, so off to sleep. goodnight! :D

you know, i had an inspiration to write the other day but i forgot what i wanted to write about. damn it. anyhoo, the past week was kinda slacker weeeeeek, as usual. monday and tuesday were useless days where i would sleep at 3am, and wake up at 1pm (just in time for ellen degeneres show!) wednesday also the same actually, but i thought i could SOMEBODY in the afternoon but he had project discussion, i'm coooool. :D went to meet the boy at buona vista cos i was supposed to take shuttle bus from buona vista to NUH to visit matthew, but no shuttle bus leh?! okay, i'm going off track. so met up with yao and went to subway for dinner. after that, we walked a bit. aiya our day was AS USUAL. i like coffee bean's peppermint tea. yum.

thursday, i had a photoshoot for sony vaio laptops. SO COOL OKAY. YOU WILL SEE MY FAT FACE (+tummy) ALL OVER BUS STOPS!!! WOOOOOOO. anyway, i'm not too sure about that but that's what the photographer and the make-up artist said. jasper, the hair stylist, was damn funny. she kept bitching about the make-up artist (with this, i hope he doesn't read my blog) so anyway, they chopped my fringe and my hair. ok not a lot of my hair, but enough to feel that my head is lighter :( so my head now looks miserly compared to my body. bitch. anyway, the shoot was rather fun cos everyone was nice to me :D yayz

friday ah... never do anything but to slack at home with my sister. at night went to meet up with rachel after FOREVAZ. we should do a mass meet up, as in our bs gang. i miss everyone a lot and i have a feeling that ah loy will disappear on us again. heheeehheeh.

saturdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? oh went for my SMU interview which i failed TERRIBLY, i know okay. i just know it. whatevs, not as if i want to go SMU also. met yao after and we had not so great sushi at IMM. noob yao, so picky with his food. watched south park! omg wall mart!!!! haahhaaha funny shiz. i like! then watched my name is earl. i like randy. he's sooo fetch. 

anyway, i need cash and a lot of things to save my pretty face, esp my disgusting eye circles. in order of importance, these are what i neeed as of NOW:

1. eye cream pls!!! ( anyone has good recommendations? i heard bioessence is good, but im not willing to pay cb $43 for bioessence.)
2. something to get rid of clogged pores. my sis says a facial should do the job.
3. a new bag, im quite bored of my bags now.
4. maybe a makeup store pencil liner. i suck with liquid liners. they always get stuck onto my lashes. :@

haha, ok not really. but almost there lah. i remember taking secret peeks at you once in a while during trainings and rehearsals, to see whether you were looking at me. i was so so shy to dance, cos i knew i couldn't dance to save my life. our group was quite dead sometimes during rehearsals, but jing yuan and you would try to help us out in every single way you guys could. and how can i ever forget that time you danced with us just to give some encouragement (considering that you remind me almost every time)? i thought you were kinda cute in a way, and i liked your 'manly' presence. hahahaha! :P 

oh oh and that one time during lunch! :) surprisingly, i enjoyed myself with you very much that day. we had so much to talk about! and you also never failed to listen to me when i had some problems. somehow, i don't know... just wanted to talk to you then. you made me feel like you can make me smile, and you still do! and the night before the event, you text me to get home by 10 and i wanted to make a deal with you, but you didn't let me :( anyway, i got back after 10 also. hehe. 

even though we aren't like officially together and all that, it feels like we've been together for quite awhile now cos we don't really do much when we are together, except spend some quality time. i love to cuddle and watch movies. i love to eat with you. definitely the best time, other than cuddling. last night i asked if you remember if we held hands, you surprised me when you said you remember! and then you reminded me how, and i smiled. i thought about it again as i tried to sleep, and i smiled again. haha we had such an amazing time didn't we? :) i want to go again to relive the moment. hahaha, i sound damn cheesy but whatevs. let's take tons and tons of pictures and make one heee-uge album okay! that'll be so fun :D 

we haven't been together long enough to know about each other, but i guess this is our learning process? you have been hella amazing and forgiving. and it seems that you are too perfect to be true. but you do have your flaws that i want to learn to embrace. i want to know more about you, somehow you just make me want to. i love how you randomly send me smses during school. i love how you don't know the lyrics to that cute song i always sing to you. i love how you let me pinch your, ahem, "muscles". i love how you don't get mad at me like, AT ALL. your sacarsm makes me laugh so much sometimes! :) i'm glad we share some kind of connection that no one else understands. that connection where you just seem to know what's with me, and what's on my mind. you give me no reason to be afraid, but all reasons to try. i don't know, you just have that effect on me and i hate it cos it always reminds me of you whenever there are important things i have to do. like at SIA, even though you didn't really like the idea, you pushed me and told me to try it out. these things may seem little and trivial, but they mean so much to me. i want the feelings between us to be mutual, and i hope i make you feel the same, to some extent.

i know you have been quite very busy lately, and i'm trying my best to understand that. but do leave some precious time for me okay? :) i promise to make it all worth it. hehehe. and even if i do end up elsewhere (you know where lah), don't worry okay? trust me! we've been through some pretty rough times these couple of weeks, but i really hope that things will turn out way better, no no, things WILL be better! i just know it. 

haha i know my past posts weren't exactly update-effective but i have been too busy lazy to update. most of last week was loser's week for me cos i didn't do ANYTHING for the whole week up till friday, when i collected my not exactly fantastic results :( but i have to admit, I WAS BUSY FROM SATURDAY ONWARDS OKAY.

went for ntu open house on saturday in my innocent schoolgirl outfit, which was a BAD choice. the freaking skirt was loose soooo, you can imagine me just pulling up my skirt every 30 seconds to prevent it from dropping. and the weather was unexpectedly warm, so yeah i was in a long sleeve shirt lah. irritating i tell you. after the open house, i met with yao and i don't really remember what we did that day. oh i remember now. we went to funan to collect his shirt and pants, looked around for his htc cruise and tv and ps3 (you buy more things than me ok), and old chang kee. after that... we went home to watch sweeney todd??? yeah we did, actually i did cos yao fell asleep. went out for dinner at mad jack's which i nearly died from excess oil in the fish and chips. headed to yi feng's house to wii and i NEARLY owned yao. he cheated; always power serve me. oh oh we played cooking mama also!!! very fun :D 

sunday was smu open house, which i again woke up late for. wasn't too keen on smu so i stayed for a while to listen to their social sciences talk. yayayay and then i went to meet yao for a short while in town. went home and did nothing lah. i don't like sundays, super unproductive.

on a monday, i went to do my nails and barely 5 minutes later, I RUIN MY NAILZ. i cannot do my nails anymore. i waste money.
on a tuesday, i went for an interview with AsiaOne and casting for acuvue, which i think will not work out for me cos of my very ugly soft smiles.
on a wednesday, STUPID CABBIE PISSED ME OFF. CB. you know he scolded me in the cab!? and he was kept 'tsk' me. this reminds me, I NEED TO WRITE COMPLAIN LETTER. anyway, he scolded me because i didn't tell him the address. wtf, i repeated the address like twice. senile pls. ARGH. and waste my money. knn. yeah and i went for m1 casting also, don't know whether can or not leh. :( i don't think so lah since the shoot is tomorrow. sianz.
today... GOT NEW TV!!! YIPPEEE! and another interview with AsiaOne.

So, you see, i'm really busy!

That's how I know this love is more than usual
This is just what I need
And here you are again to take my hand
You stay with me
And take another chance

even though every time i complain about almost every other thing about you, you'd know at the end of the day i would smile it all away because.. i don't know? you just make me do! and yeah sometimes i say i don't want to talk to you because you are busy, i really want to! haha i don't say it cos i'm "mad" but haha, i don't know. 

booo. DON'T like you.hahahahahaha!

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!! THE VIDEO IS HILARIOUS! I LOVE DEAD OR ALIVE

i hate periods cos they make me depressed like all the time and not to mention, fat. i get snappy when i don't want to. hate this shit. all the raging hormones are driving me insane! and it is starting to make me wonder if everything is really right in it's place. damn it. 

are you really worth the fight, the battle deep down inside?

woo! got my kickass pay but i have a feeling that it's gonna be gone in a matter of weeks. been looking around on asos for clothes and shoes, BUT all veh expensive. not cool. i seem to have an endless list of things that i want... i can't help it :( i can never get enough of clothes please. and speaking of which, i haven't picked out my outfit for tomorrow. shizzle.


might just be able to carry this off, considering the lack of body tissue in my breasts.


i love dresses with pockets.i think it's cool.


i am a suckerrrr for rrrruffles






cute!!!


shit, i love her hair.




i wish my legs were as thin!! :@



i'm very tired. goodnight! :)

edit: yao asked why i never brog about mambo on wednesday, so here i go...
mambo was FUN!!! haha yao, i bluff you when i told you it was okay :P yeah it was fun with all the synchronised dance moves. omg, i want to know how to do also!!! we had one too many long island teas cos yao was rather wasted when he sent me home, while i got a hangover the next day. slept for less than 5 hours and woke up with a bad headache and feeling nauseous :( shitz, not fun. had to wake up early cos needed to drag my sorry ass all the way to changi for SIA briefing!!!!!!! cab fare cost me about $20+ from outram. but thats not the point. i wanted to puke in the cab please! :( no more long island tea in a jug for me. BUT MAMBO FOR ME ANYTIME!!!! hehehehehe.

I MADE IT TO SIA!!!! i'm going to be the next top air stewardess. you will see kuet swee or whatever her name is, yes you will see her life size wax figurine at mdm tussaud's being melted and replaced with my sexy hot face!!! i will rock london, hong kong, shanghai and the new one in berlin!!! my to-die-for face will be next to my man, Lee Kuan Yew and everyone will gape in awe because of my beauty face. my gorgeous physique will be smokin' hot that it will set off the alarm, but mine won't be destroyed because it's being displayed nicely in a glass cupboard. THAT IS HOW I WILL RULE THE WORLD OF WAX.

i'm way over my head, BUT I DON'T CARE! hahahahahahaha. wooo! milan, here i come!!!

you know what i find most therapeutic? hotel rooms. i love it when i travel cos i get to sleep in a hotel room. the sheets are crispy and clean, the room is properly ventilated, the floors are carpeted; i practically feel like a queen even though sometimes it's just an old hotel like the one i always stay in KL (they have terrible sheets but too bad, i'm a sucker for hotel rooms). i'm not much of a clean freak but these days, i find myself obsessing over the cleanlines of my bed. i can't help it, i really can't. hmm, hotel rooms just give me this peaceful feeling. i don't quite know how to put it in words, but i absolutely adore the feeling. it's like, you're in a totally foreign place and can't read a map to save your life cos you, ok, I, don't carry one, and yet the place you feel closest to home, is your hotel room. when i lie in bed, the sounds of the nightlife somehow creeps through the window frames, the passing cars of those downstairs, the chattering of people by the roadside stalls etc. it isn't exactly noise, but somehow i find peace and serenity in that. and amazingly, it lullabies me to sleep in a matter of minutes.

recently, i've realised that i found the same (ok, not the same. almost) feeling in my own bed room. the thick comforter blanketing my curled body, my softest pillow like the ones they have at hotels works well for me, and best of all, i hear the same passing cars and motorcycles downstairs, with of course, my air conditioning running in the background. it puts me to ease just like that, and now that i think about it, i always like to sleep away my issues/problems because i found the 'quietness' such a beauty. 

and the best way to enjoy such beauty? sleep with the One. i don't know if he is, but if he was in a hotel room with me, it would be out of this world. really. everything would be really perfect, like how i would want it to be. the perfect holiday, the perfect hotel, the perfect one. sweeeet no? me and him, just the 2 of us, beneath the duvet cos the heater isn't warm enough and outside is glistening snow. just cuddling away like no tomorrow, falling asleep to his rhythmic breathing whilst in his arms. there's nothing i want more.